Monday, April 4, 2011

Pray I Can Still Have a Garden

I have to apologize for the uncharacteristically personal post here, but with some confusing turns of events in the process of selling our home, and there is a very good chance I will not be able to garden anymore. More than likely, my family and I will have to rent, and I'm not so sure anyone will want my ripping out all their grass and planting a couple hundred flowers. Of course, the end result remains to be seen, so everyone please pray I can still have a garden for my flowers. This is so hard for me, and I'd like to share an snippet of the story I shared with my friends and family on my family blog regarding my garden, and possibly losing it:

I'm not a one bed of flowers kind of gardener, but more of a massive rip up all the lawn type. I'm unwilling to budge on the gardening thing... it's as much a part of me as my hair, or my kids. I know how childish and unnreal this sounds, but gardening is a part of me, and if I can't have my own patch a dirt, I don't want anything at all. Period. And I don't want to just keep my plants alive until we get a house in a few years, it's not that, I want to tend to them every day I want to kneal down and watch God's miracles as they evolve and grow, and share their beauty with me. I live for my garden- for the physical aspect, the teaching, the wildlife. Some people watch TV at night, I garden with my headlamp until I can't see. I spend a 100 hours a week, however I need to come by them, in my garden come spring. My kids grow their own stuff and are always out there with me. Dirt runs through my veins, and my kid's veins now, too. I feel like this- this not having a garden after having a massive, extensive garden with thousands of hours of labor and love, hundreds of roses, hundreds of perennials (most raised from seed), and shrubs- I feel like someone has stabbed me in the heart and left me bleeding. I feel like I'm drowning.

A few pictures from last May 18th 2010. I can barely look at them now, it hurts.


Larry said...

I can't imagine how painful this must be for you... actually upon reflection, I do. After all, that's the love of gardening is the reason I'm delaying a much needed surgery for several months... I suspect any true gardeners are in complete empathy with what you're dealing with... is there any chance that aggressive container gardening can fill some of the void if things don't work out. The other aspect to consider is that many folks would allow gardens in their rental properties and even appreciate them... my sister has been in that type of situation for years... if renting a home with some ground, many have gardens that would benefit from your expertise and love for the garden life style... I wish you the best as you deal with these very difficult issues ... Larry

Jamie said...

Thank you so much. My husband and I are working things out as best we can, trying to find place to rent where I can garden, have our pets, and be in the area we need to be in. Today, things are looking up- so I'm hopeful. It won't be the same as having a huge chunk of land to call my own, but at this point, I'll do what I can!
Funny you mentioned container gardening- I have a pretty good collection of containers already making the trip with me, but I had a few large vacant ones I went out and filled with perennials from my yard today. I potted up a japanese maple and rose of sharon I want to bring with me, and surrounded them with perennials- felt so theraputic.